WHAT ??? !!

1st June 2026      

         This is from our South Australian morning newspaper the other day, definitely a John McEnroe moment - "You can NOT be SERIOUS !!!"

        The CSIRO is our Government's very respected Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation, and responsible for some deep and meaningful output since 1949.

        The small item (about page 9) was titled .....

             THUNDER DOWN UNDER

    An Australian research team has been blown away by the results of a new farting study.
    A CSIRO team created a mobile phone app, aptly named Chart Your Fart, that measured how much hot air Aussies were blowing when they passed wind.
    The researchers say we pass an average of 5 bottom burps a day. In the study, men were gassier than women and younger people were lighter on the pop-off than all other age groups. The research showed Australians also tended to pass Thunder from Down Under in the evening, peaking between 5:00 PM and 10:00 PM. The study showed there was a notable dip in trouser-trumpets during the middle of the day, the researchers say.

        I had to double check the date to see if it wasn't actually the 1st of April, and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I will believe it until I get Mr A.I. Google's opinion. I mean - how would you actually USE this app?? And is there an Eruption Scale that goes with it? - y'know, from say Genteel Fluff up to Vesuvius? And where would Silent But Deadly fit into it?

        OMG, I had to ask!

        There are five scales to the data captured -
                Stench - (Odourless to Toxic)
                Loudness - (Silent to Deafening)
                Duration - (Brief to Eternity)
                Linger - (Fleeting to Perpetual)
                Detectability - (Discreet to Blatant)

        You can download the app for free from Google Play and the CSIRO website provides guidelines.

        What can I say? Slow week in the laboratory??

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