11th May 2026
Actually, Karl Marx apparently said "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. The opium of the people." Karl was a real cheerup. Today he'd probably say it was Television.
I've tended to be a bit anti formal organised institutional Religion most of my grownup life. Those massive clubs with Rules and Promises where the head people (mostly old men) wear peculiar hats so we can tell how important and how learned they are. But okay, we are a species that desperately needs something like Religion to keep us in line and keep Death at bay. So right from the get-go we've chased after the One True Way.
So I had to dive into A.I. and ask some basic questions....
< >
What is the oldest monotheistic religion?
Three contenders -
Zoroastrianism, from about 2000 BC and focussed on ethical choices between truth and falsehoods.
Antenism, introduced by one of the Pharoahs in Egypt ap 1350 BC, worshipping a sun god, but was short lived.
Judaism, from about 2000 BC, but evolved from polytheism, became monotheistic later than Zoroastrianism.
How many mono-theistic religions are there today?
Three major ones - Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, covering over half the world's population, and sharing the one patriarch, Abraham. Then there's a whole raft of others.
How many different Christian sub-faiths are there?
About 45,000.
Which one is the smallest?
Possibly it's the Unity Of The Brethren at about 35,000 members, although according to Wiki there's still a handful of the historical Shakers.
Do all monotheistic religions promise the reward of everlasting life?
A.I. says most traditions share the concept that a soul survives death, and that how one lives on Earth has consequences for their spiritual state afterwards. Also, while the major ones heavily emphasize a promised reward of everlasting life, or paradise after death, it's not a uniform central feature of all, as Jewish tradition for instance often prioritises ethical living in this life over speculation about the next. And "reward" can vary, for some its Paradise, for others it's more about nearness to (or remoteness from) God.
Okay, these guys are my favourites when it comes to taking the piss!
They are the "...adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster... arguing that the universe was created by an invisible flying mass of spaghetti and meatballs." (Ahhh, brilliant!)
Founded in the USA in 2005, as a "...protest over the teaching of Intelligent Design in public schools..", and while it is "...not necessarily anti-religion, but rather opposed to the crazy nonsense done in the name of religion." (Not sure why but I always imagined it began in England, it just has that Monty Python feel about it).
They claim that "...pirates are absolute divine beings... and that a decline in pirates caused global warming." But the best part is, some members wear a colander on their head as religious headwear for official ID photos.
